Feeding Mr. W.
I am currently having an internal debate on the issue of how I want to feed Mr. W once he is here.
Patrick refused to nurse and was formula fed which ended up being a fine arrangement although it did come with guilt for me since I was so determined to breastfeed him.
When I was pregnant with Kathryn I was determined to nurse her and, although we had to supplement a bit at the beginning, she was exclusively breastfeed from about day 5 onward. This proved to be more of a challenge than I had anticipated because I was unable to go anywhere without her for the first year of her life, as she outright refused bottles at a later time when we attempted to re-introduce them. She also nursed at night until she self-weaned at 13 months which was a huge energy drain. With her, I felt all I did was nurse for those first 6 months! She couldn't go more than 2 hours for the longest time without having a feed.
When I first got pregnant with William I had decided to try to do both - nurse him and have set times of the day that he would get formula so that I could have a bit more freedom (and sleep!!). But now... I'm not so sure. It might be very nice just to forgo the whole boob experience this time and go straight to exclusive formula. But at the same time I don't want to deprive him of the benefits of breastmilk, especially those first few weeks. However, I don't want to get 'stuck' again like I did with Ms. Kathryn. Sure, I could have left her with Shaun and put them both thru the trauma of using a bottle... but I just couldn't do that to either of them, even though I was not in a particularly good mental-state-of-mind.
The cost of formula just isn't an issue. Dealing with bottles and boiled water may take more time, but its something I know Kathryn will be happy to help me with. Not having to nurse in public is also a huge draw because I'm not very discrete about it (I do have a new nursing cover this time to help with that). Being able to give William to Shaun or my parents for a few hours to get some much needed rest, or to go out by myself without worrying is also a big pro for formula.
I just don't know. I keep going back and forth. I think I may not even make up my mind until he's here!
Feel free to weigh in on the issue... especially if you've had experiences with both sides of the feeding coin.
10 comments:
How about you pump, so W is getting all the good stuff, and is used to a bottle. Then you can switch to formula when the time is right. You can still breastfeed if W will take the boob, but then you can bottle feed as well.
Deb, I totally understand your dilemma - especially your desire to be able to leave William for more than an hour at a time! I breastfed Joel throughout the day, but bottlefed him at bedtime. This way, he still recieved all the nutrients of breastmilk, and I was able to go out in the evening if I so desired. I started the bottle fairly young, and he took to it nicely. Another plus was that nana, Grandma, daddy, and others also had the opportunity to feed the little man. All the best in pondering your options!
Lisa, the trouble with pumping is it actually makes double the work... if he's going to get breastmilk it will direct from the tap!
Kelly - this is what I was originally hoping to set up. I just hope this kid is more laid back like Patrick was than uptight like Kathryn.
Did K take formula okay early on? I have friends that would pump and give a bottle if they were going out. They started very young and didn't have issues. Maybe if you had continued to give it to K once a day or so she would have been ok with it?
I started supplementing with Aaron at around 7 months when my supply dropped. I mixed it with EBM at first to mask the taste and slowly increased the amount of formula. I was the only one to EVER care for him for about the first 18 months. I'd thought if he was on formula that I'd get to go out alone or sleep through the night but no, it was me anyways, and then I had all the extra work of bottles on top of it. Breastfeeding is much easier.
Liam hasn't had a single bottle. He drinks a tiny amount of water from a bottle or sippy occassionally. I'm on domperidone for supply and it's worked out well. I'm not much of a partier anyways so anywhere my baby's not welcome, I just don't go and I don't feel like I'm missing out. The feeling of closeness and snuggles are totally worth getting up at night. I'm enjoying every moment breastfeeding, especially since I don't know if I'll ever get to do it again.
There's something special, to me, about being the only one capable of doing this for my child. That thought helped me through ppd after he was born when I didn't want to do anything with him.
It's very important to me that they get as many antibodies as possible. Breastfed kids in general (I know there are exceptions) are healthier, friendlier, and smarter (average 5 pts higher IQ).
Kindergarten teachers say they can tell which kids were breastfed, it makes that much of a difference.
Formula feeding increases risk of some cancers by as much as 50%.
Formula is also very expensive. Even if I could have afforded it, I would rather put that money into savings for their education or something.
You're the only one that can decide what's best for your family though. If it causes so much stress for you that it's significantly negatively affects you and your family, then it may not be worth it.
Anna
Anna - where on earth did you get that 50% increase in cancer stat?! Thats outrageous. I'd like to see your source.
Hey Deb,
I guess I'm the pro bottle feeder type, only because of my experience, I didn't produce milk, and the first 6 weeks of Caleb's life was utterly (pun) disasterous, and I was seriously getting depressed. I felt broken, and I was depriving my baby. Then with the whole labour fiasco with Amberly I was in no emotional condition to stick it out, I nursed for the first week and tossed in the towel.
Bluntly put...I do not like nursing. It's uncomfortable, it hurts, it's not natural (for me) and I needed alone time in order to remain sane. I know most women would call me selfish and ignorant for feeling this way, because as a mother you're supposed to sacrifice. But it's my life. Just like it's your life. Please don't stress out about it, and you'll do what ever you're most comfortable with when William comes.
What ever you do I love you :)
Shaun, I'm sorry. I did not mean to insinuate that you would not be helpful. I know you have been and I know you will be. I was merely stating MY personal experience.
Deb, some studies:
Dockerty 1999 and Rosenbaum 2000 concluded that children that were never breastfed had a 25% increase in the risk of getting childhood leukemia compared to children who were breastfed for between 6-12 months.
The 1988 US National Maternal and Infant Health Survey (NMIHS) found a 26.6% increase in infant mortality between the ages of 1-12 months for infants who were never breastfed when compared to infants who were "ever" breastfed. The authors excluded infants who died from congenital anomalies or malignant tumors.
McVea 2000: One meta-analysis of 23 studies evaluated the relationship of breastfeeding and SIDS. It reported an overall risk of SIDS more than twice (2.11 times) as great for formula-fed infants compared with breastfed infants.
The most recent meta-analysis published by the Collaborative Group on Hormonal Factors in breast cancer combined 45 studies published through 2001 and two unpublished studies.
There was a statistically significant reduction in risk of breast cancer by 4.3% for each year of breastfeeding.
We reviewed 15 case-control studies that examined the relationship between breastfeeding and the risk of ovarian cancer. Not breastfeeding increased risk of ovarian cancer by 58.7% compared to breastfeeding for at least 12 cumulative months. Breastfeeding of less than 12 months (cumulative duration) was not statistically significantly associated with a reduction in the risk of ovarian cancer.
You can view the entire thing here: http://www.ahrq.gov/downloads/pub/evidence/pdf/brfout/brfout.pdf
Anna
I'm not sure if this posted, my internet died right as I hit publish so I'm posting it again.
Shaun, I'm sorry. I did not mean to insinuate that you would not be helpful. I know you have been and I know you will be. I was merely stating MY personal experience.
Deb, some studies:
Dockerty 1999 and Rosenbaum 2000 concluded that children that were never breastfed had a 25% increase in the risk of getting childhood leukemia compared to children who were breastfed for between 6-12 months.
The 1988 US National Maternal and Infant Health Survey (NMIHS) found a 26.6% increase in infant mortality between the ages of 1-12 months for infants who were never breastfed when compared to infants who were "ever" breastfed. The authors excluded infants who died from congenital anomalies or malignant tumors.
McVea 2000: One meta-analysis of 23 studies evaluated the relationship of breastfeeding and SIDS. It reported an overall risk of SIDS more than twice (2.11 times) as great for formula-fed infants compared with breastfed infants.
The most recent meta-analysis published by the Collaborative Group on Hormonal Factors in breast cancer combined 45 studies published through 2001 and two unpublished studies.
There was a statistically significant reduction in risk of breast cancer by 4.3% for each year of breastfeeding.
We reviewed 15 case-control studies that examined the relationship between breastfeeding and the risk of ovarian cancer. Not breastfeeding increased risk of ovarian cancer by 58.7% compared to breastfeeding for at least 12 cumulative months. Breastfeeding of less than 12 months (cumulative duration) was not statistically significantly associated with a reduction in the risk of ovarian cancer.
You can view the entire thing here: http://www.ahrq.gov/downloads/pub/evidence/pdf/brfout/brfout.pdf
Anna
You have opened up quite the debate eh Deb. :) I am going to chime in my 2 cents. I think you know my history but I will recap just in case. Jordan, like Patrick would not latch. The nurses introduced a bottle, I was young and insecure so I went with it. I did pump for 3 months and had enough supply stored that he got all EBM until he was 5 months then we introduced formula.It was A LOT of work, you really do have to pull double duty if there are other options I would go with them.
When Keira came along I was terrified that she would not latch so I refused to give her a bottle at all for the first 4 months and then it was too late, much like Kathryn she refused and would scream bloody murder if she even saw the thing. I was fine with it in the end and with Makayla never even tried a bottle again with the nagging concern in the back of my head of "what if she won't latch properly"
I remember the concerns with Kathryn and agree that introducing a bottle early on would be best for you and your family. Especially knowing that if William doesn't latch properly you will be fine with using only bottles.
I don't know if your know/knew Natalie Middlehurst (nee Stapersky sp?) With both of her children she nursed for the first couple of weeks and then introduced a bottle for one feeding a day, no pumping just replaced the nursing with formula. Both of her sons took to the bottle very well and there was never any "nipple" confusion. She did this for another few months gradually increasing the amount of bottles through out the day until they were around 6 months and stopped so they were/are completely bottle fed. She was able to enjoy it all. She could go out, Jay (her husband) could do night feedings if she needed, and with her she has the added complication of severe migraines so she could take her meds and bottle feed her babies and not be concerned about them getting unnecessary drugs. It worked great for her. She is not a "lover" of breastfeeding she does it because she feels it is best for them when they are really young but that formula provides all nutrients a growing baby needs.
That is my two cents on the whole debate. To summarize, try both, introduce the bottle early though and if he likes that more, go with what he wants.
Hope you can figure it out.
Thank you all for your comments. I do appreciate all of them, from all sides of the feeding spectrum. I do realize I opened up a can of worms with the whole issue... such are matters that affect the wee-ones and are really close to our hearts.
I think I'm going to stick with my original plan and try to make things work like Kelly did with Joel, and like Cathy explaind with her friend who gets migraines.
I do feel selfish for wanting to be able to get away from William, but I do remember how it was with Kathryn and how trapped and exhausted and frustrated I was. I don't want to feel that way again. I feel like I spent much of her infancy being angry about feeding... right up to 9 months when she finally started to "eat" food.
If nursing was something I enjoyed and I could get over the sleep-deprevation that would be one thing. But I have always been someone who needed sleep and having a EBF infant and 2 preschoolars isn't going to get me much of that. With Shaun's willingness to do the night feedings 1-2 times a week I may actually get to feel like a whole person this time... instead of on the brink of insanity. I have never felt so mentally unstable as when I was nursing Kathryn. Probably mostly because of the sleep issues, but, who knows.
Thank you all again for your thoughts.
Post a Comment